Provocative Neighbors

“I still need to know what you do about Termites,” I called out to Joanne as I approached she and Peter on her driveway. Joanne is my next door neighbor and Peter does the landscape maintenance for both our houses.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, “I’m not really sure what my guy does but he’s coming a week from tomorrow so I’ll have him knock on your door.”

“Well, wait, what company is it? I’ve already interviewed three and there are things I don’t like about all three of them,” I said as I noticed that Joanne’s dress was completely see through and I could see the silhouettes of her thighs all the way up to her crotch.

“It’s called BugsAway. They’re great! Family owned, very nice people, Christian, they’re great.”

I laughed and I could tell by the look on her face my laughter needed some explaining. “I’m not from Texas or anywhere in the Bible Belt so I’m not used to hearing Christian as a selling point,” I said.

Peter chuckled.

“Trustworthy!” she blurted, “I meant trustworthy by that.”

“Well, I was raised a Catholic and they were molesting alter boys, so I’m not sure you can always equate the two,” I said. Peter laughed out loud. “In fact,” I went on, “if someone held a gun to my head and said I had to align with an organized religion, it would probably be Buddhism. But wait! I hardly know you guys! I’m not supposed to be talking about politics, sex or religion!” Peter threw his head back laughing.

“Where are you going!?” I then demanded of Joanne.

“To her mailbox,” Peter said. I think he knew what I was getting at.

“I just got back from swimming,” Joanne said.

“Oh, it’s a bathing suit cover! I was gonna say your dress is completely see through and was going to offer to lend you a slip!”

Peter was laughing so hard he had to walk away.

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14 thoughts on “Provocative Neighbors

  1. Mom

    And a few other places. i saw bumper stickers in N. Carolina that scared the hell out of me, equating people against guns with Satanic leanings.
    But that was hilarious. By the time you leave Texas you should be famous.

    Liked by 1 person

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