“Sweet?” I said.
“Yes, sweet,” my esthetician Linda answered. “I used to have some impressive stuff about myself on my profile at Match.com but one guy said, I can’t date you; I’m just a regular guy.”
“Oh, so that impressive stuff intimidated him.” I said.
“Guess so,” she replied, “So after that I did a some research to find the words that men use to search profiles and the top word was sweet. So now all my profile says is sweet girl looking for a relationship. The hits to my profile tripled!”
“Now that you mention it,” I said, “I remember years ago before the Internet when I was dating, a girlfriend set me up on a blind date and she told me the man asked if I was sweet. So, yeah, even back then sweet was key.”
I’ve been called many nice things in my life but sweet has never been one of them.
“What does that even mean!?” Linda almost shouted
“I know!” I shouted back, “What does sweet mean!? Oh, wait,” I went on, “I know! Sweet means you will go to bed with him!”
We laughed hysterically as she almost gouged my eye with her microdermabrasion wand.
We caught our breath and I wiped away the tears flowing from the aforementioned eye and Linda said, “Oh, that reminds me, I have this friend in her late fifties who is getting divorced. She said to me Linda, all I want is a man to be a companion, someone to have a meal with and to sit down with and talk. Ya know?”
“So what I told her,” Linda said, “is that what men want is to go to bed with you, not worry about being your companion, not have a meal with you and not sit down and talk with you! Oh my god, she got so mad at me!!”
We both laughed out loud as I gently grabbed the wrist of her hand holding the wand.