Sweet Linda (aka Lovely Linda)

“Sweet?” I said.

“Yes, sweet,” my esthetician Linda answered. “I used to have some impressive stuff about myself on my profile at Match.com but one guy said, I can’t date you; I’m just a regular guy.

“Oh, so that impressive stuff intimidated him.” I said.

“Guess so,” she replied, “So after that I did a some research to find the words that men use to search profiles and the top word was sweet. So now all my profile says is sweet girl looking for a relationship. The hits to my profile tripled!”

“Now that you mention it,” I said, “I remember years ago before the Internet when I was dating, a girlfriend set me up on a blind date and she told me the man asked if I was sweet. So, yeah, even back then sweet was key.”

I’ve been called many nice things in my life but sweet has never been one of them.

“What does that even mean!?” Linda almost shouted

“I know!” I shouted back, “What does sweet mean!? Oh, wait,” I went on, “I know! Sweet means you will go to bed with him!”

We laughed hysterically as she almost gouged my eye with her microdermabrasion wand.

We caught our breath and I wiped away the tears flowing from the aforementioned eye and Linda said, “Oh, that reminds me, I have this friend in her late fifties who is getting divorced. She said to me Linda, all I want is a man to be a companion, someone to have a meal with and to sit down with and talk. Ya know?

“So what I told her,” Linda said, “is that what men want is to go to bed with you, not worry about being your companion, not have a meal with you and not sit down and talk with you! Oh my god, she got so mad at me!!”

We both laughed out loud as I gently grabbed the wrist of her hand holding the wand.

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23 thoughts on “Sweet Linda (aka Lovely Linda)

  1. Oh gawd. I really didn’t want to like this. I really didn’t want to laugh. And I really, really, really wish it wasn’t true. Maybe in another 20 years I can muster up how to do “sweet” (at that point senility would be a help). Forget smart, talented, funny… skinny and sweet. S.I.G.H. This is why god invented batteries…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lisa

    I’ve always been “sweet”…has gotten me in a lot of trouble…(as in taken advantage of…)

    Actually, I’m not so sweet, but appear so…men are thrown for a loop when they realize it. I had a guy one time tell me “You’re tougher than you look”…and another say “I’ve heard you’re tough as nails”….what, wait, I’m SWEET!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Debbie

    Well, in teenage lingo “sweet” means “cool”. I have heard it over and over. “That’s so sweet (cool)”. So Andrea, I think you are real sweet. Most of the time. Lol. Love you.

    Like

    • Oh, yeah, I know the kinda teenage sweet you are talking about. These men, however are in the late 50’s to early 70’s so I doubt they are meaning it that way. I think they are meaning it in the “submissive and will go to bed with me” sweet. HA! Love you, too!

      Like

  4. David

    Andrea, best wishes on your surgery. Mine went very well and I walked out to the car and napped at home the rest of the day. You will do fine. See you both in a few weeks. Happy and healthy 2015! ….David

    Like

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