We have a larger population of squirrels in Texas than anywhere else in the world. I just made that up, but when you come here you will believe it, too. Squirrels are to Dallas what rabbits are to Scottsdale and chickens are to Kauai.

Recently, at the park down the street, I saw two playing in a tree with such aggression and abandon that I said to a woman standing near me, “Oh my god, those squirrels are going to fall right out of that tree!”

“No!” she exclaimed. “I’ve lived in Dallas for 30 years! They never fall out of trees!” With that, both squirrels fell about 10 feet, slammed onto the ground, screamed and ran in opposite directions. The lady and I just looked at each other. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to mess with Texas.